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Posted by on Jul 16, 2012 in Children, Crazy Mom-isms, Family, Fatherhood, Healthy Lifestyle, Illness, Moderation, Motherhood, Natural Parenting, Parenting, Philosophy, Preschool, Stay At Home Mom, Surgery, Working Mom | 4 comments

Another Tough Parenting Decision

Another Tough Parenting Decision

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Full disclosure: I am about to share some intimate stuff. This is my daughter’s story, it’s her business. But I hope she will understand, someday when she discovers Mama’s blog, that the intention is to help and assist other families by telling our story. One big reason why I blog is to relate and be related to. Everyone lives a life that is worth sharing. I hope some of you can benefit from this story as I have while reading others like ours.

Excessively sweaty, snoring, choking on food, often unable to swallow food…these are all symptoms our daughter has been dealing with for quite some time. We never really gave it too much thought. Sure, maybe she has something going on, but certainly a fantastic diet, regular chiropractic care, & supplementation would take care of anything to make her “sick”.

When she turned 3, our daughter had a routine dental check-up. The dentist quickly commented on how very large her tonsils were. She then began to list off the side-effects from having structurally large tonsils. She already has a cross-bite that would get worse with time, most definitely will need braces when she is old enough (who doesn’t?!), and her face could & would probably change structure, change shape, as she ages. Say what??!!

Now, by now you should understand something about me. If there is one thing I am learning about the medical profession, it is to always question what you are told, to always get a second, even third, opinion before hastily making any decisions. As well, try to find a natural solution/remedy to any diagnosis, problem or otherwise. Most likely there is one that exists.

So, we kind of shrugged it off. No rush.

The sweat continues. Potty trained at 18 months, she rarely had accidents (almost never anymore) yet still wets her pull-up at night, every night. If she’s not holding food in her cheeks like a chipmunk for hours at a time, she’s often choking it down to swallow. Spicy, tangy, sour foods all “bother her throat”. Her throat hurts. “It hurts, like, a lot.” On occasion, she wakes up with blood on her sheets where her ear ruptured & drained. She coughs a lot, sounds congested all the time, and always looks like she could use a better nights’ sleep. These are all symptoms of people who have problems with their tonsils. Our daughter doesn’t have problems with her tonsils *rolls eyes*.

We told these symptoms to the pediatrician from time to time & she urged us either to record t sleeping or to get a sleep study, as she suspects sleep apnea. Does she stop breathing in her sleep ever? Does she wake frequently? Does she cry or scream out at night?

Again, we take the natural route and wait it out. I’m not taking our little girl to have wires attached to her in a strange environment to see if she wakes up at night more than we know about or stops breathing in her sleep. We can keep an eye on that. We can monitor her sleep. Let’s get her adjusted more regularly, see how she does. She’s mostly a pleasant child and still takes naps, even. She doesn’t have sleep apnea, we think.

Born in March of this year, our new baby took up some of our time so we waited, probably longer than we should have, to schedule a visit with an ENT. Finally, in early July, we visit. She absolutely should get her tonsils and adenoids out. It’s a package deal.

She’s a mouth breather, in fact, can’t even breathe through her nose. She will have physical structural changes to her face if they remain in. She is not getting enough oxygen, sleep or nutrition. They should come out, this will take care of everything.

That was pretty much the gist of it. The doctor was very honest about the procedure surgery and said this was common, yet reiterated that she has certain guidelines that weren’t necessarily in place decades ago when they took them out of everyone who breathed air.

No way. We won’t let our little girl be put through something like that. She is perfect the way she is, the way God made her.

As you can see, I’m pretty worked up over this. We don’t take decisions like this lightly. We see professionals, research on our own, seek alternative care, and wait. This is a decision that in the end, we know will be what is best for our family. I don’t ask other people’s advice because they want differently for their family. It is their choice. But I do ask “what did you do?” or “what would you do if it was your kid?” and patiently listen to their answers. Yes, it is a sensitive topic. Yes, I am a proud parent. And yes, we have made a decision.

We have decided to go through with the surgery. t is scheduled to have a tonsil/adenoidectomy and we are a nervous wreck.

Guess we should have listened to the medical professionals on this one after all. This is when modern medicine is miraculous.

We literally made a list of reasons for and reasons against the surgery. In the long run, the benefits outweighed the risks. This is the hope of any major event in your life. When given two roads, definitely take the one where the benefits outweigh the risks. For sure.

Not to try to defend our decision, but we want to make it clear for others out there who may be faced with this same decision: our daughter’s case is truly one of a physical form. Her tonsils are structurally HUGE. They are not swollen, not infected. In fact, she has never (knock on wood) had strep throat nor tonsilitis. Her tonsils and adenoids are completely healthy. (See, the chiropractics and healthy lifestyle have paid off!) A naturopathic, alternative route would do no good. As I told my husband, it’s comparable to being born with a big nose. You can do everything imaginable to shrink it, but surgery is the only way to make it smaller. Of course, this is not a cosmetic issue. This has very little to do with the way she looks. This is actually affecting her life. Big time. Get these things out of her, now!

I have a hard time with the idea of messing with what we were given. Most of my parenting decisions are based on that theory. I have natural childbirths, we don’t pierce our children’s ears, etc…we are grateful for what God has given us and we never take that for granted.

That being said, we are content with our decision in this matter. We believe we are doing what is healthiest for her. She needs this procedure as it will never just “go away” or get better. If only we could be certain it will all go smoothly and be for the better. If only parents had a fast-forward button that could skip through the hard parts and a slow motion button to relish in the easy and fun ones!

I think there is a lesson to be learned through all of this. It is one that parents learn quite early in their mother/father -hood. Research all of your options and discover which is best for your family.

We would appreciate prayers for a successful surgery and a swift recovery. Thank you all for your support. It’s just a stinkin’ surgery to remove my daughters’ tonsils and adenoids…it happens all the time, right?!

You can look forward to a follow-up post when all is said and done. Good news is on the horizon!

4 Comments

  1. We spoke about this at Gma’s this weekend. Nate suffered the EXACT symptoms We had it all done including tubes in the ears.What a different child he was after the surgery. Yes, it is scary, but it needs to be done. She will be a much happier child.

  2. I will pray for a smooth recovery for your little one. I believe you are making a wise decision. You did the research and are now convinced this is the right thing and the right time to do this for your child!
    Charlie, my 2nd son, had his out at 4.5 yrs old. He had “kissing tonsils” is what our doctor called them and we were told that he would grow into them. I happened to see an ENT for myself and asked him to look at Charlie’s tonsils. He said they were huge and Charlie would never grow into them and they need to come out. I struggled with the decision to do it and like you did tons of research and tried many things before doing it. Charlie’s symptoms were minor yet life altering…sleep apnea, easily frustrated by evening because of never getting a good night sleep, when we had a cold he would get a worse cold and it would last forever, never did he have strep or ear infections – which suprised the ENT. When he would have just a cold, his cough would be horrible and he would have at least one night of many choking incidents with every cold. I noticed the sleep apnea because I was up in the middle of the night with my baby (Henry). When we were getting the surgery done there was another boy there with a similar story, but he was 9 years old. His mom never knew he was having sleep issues because she was never up in the middle of the night hearing his snoring, she never heard him stop breathing and gasping for breath. I was relieved that we did it when we did. Now Charlie gets sound sleep, whenever a cold is going around he sometimes even misses it and when he gets one it goes away in the same amount of time as everyone elses cold.

  3. Most people would think this is a very common,routine surgery and happens most often in young children/toddlers, hence “don’t worry about it.” I think it’s great as parents you researched and came to the conclusion this surgery will ultimately better the quality of her life. I can not imagine being a parent, watching your child suffer and there is no help you can offer. I am happy these are only tonsils involved and not a major organ that is part of this congenital anomaly. None the less, it is still surgery one would never dream your own child would have to endure. My prayers are with the Sweet family and “Viva” especially, that she may be in the palms of God’s hands during this time.

  4. This is when the medical field proves itself. This is what they are for. These procedures exist for a reason, and in t’s case, we are thankful they exist. You’ve made the right decision, and as always, you are great, terrific, loving parents. Speedy healing Little Miss!

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