Another Tough Parenting Decision
Full disclosure: I am about to share some intimate stuff. This is my daughter’s story, it’s her business. But I hope she will understand, someday when she discovers Mama’s blog, that the intention is to help and assist other families by telling our story. One big reason why I blog is to relate and be related to. Everyone lives a life that is worth sharing. I hope some of you can benefit from this story as I have while reading others like ours.
Excessively sweaty, snoring, choking on food, often unable to swallow food…these are all symptoms our daughter has been dealing with for quite some time. We never really gave it too much thought. Sure, maybe she has something going on, but certainly a fantastic diet, regular chiropractic care, & supplementation would take care of anything to make her “sick”.
When she turned 3, our daughter had a routine dental check-up. The dentist quickly commented on how very large her tonsils were. She then began to list off the side-effects from having structurally large tonsils. She already has a cross-bite that would get worse with time, most definitely will need braces when she is old enough (who doesn’t?!), and her face could & would probably change structure, change shape, as she ages. Say what??!!
Now, by now you should understand something about me. If there is one thing I am learning about the medical profession, it is to always question what you are told, to always get a second, even third, opinion before hastily making any decisions. As well, try to find a natural solution/remedy to any diagnosis, problem or otherwise. Most likely there is one that exists.
So, we kind of shrugged it off. No rush.
The sweat continues. Potty trained at 18 months, she rarely had accidents (almost never anymore) yet still wets her pull-up at night, every night. If she’s not holding food in her cheeks like a chipmunk for hours at a time, she’s often choking it down to swallow. Spicy, tangy, sour foods all “bother her throat”. Her throat hurts. “It hurts, like, a lot.” On occasion, she wakes up with blood on her sheets where her ear ruptured & drained. She coughs a lot, sounds congested all the time, and always looks like she could use a better nights’ sleep. These are all symptoms of people who have problems with their tonsils. Our daughter doesn’t have problems with her tonsils *rolls eyes*.
We told these symptoms to the pediatrician from time to time & she urged us either to record t sleeping or to get a sleep study, as she suspects sleep apnea. Does she stop breathing in her sleep ever? Does she wake frequently? Does she cry or scream out at night?
Again, we take the natural route and wait it out. I’m not taking our little girl to have wires attached to her in a strange environment to see if she wakes up at night more than we know about or stops breathing in her sleep. We can keep an eye on that. We can monitor her sleep. Let’s get her adjusted more regularly, see how she does. She’s mostly a pleasant child and still takes naps, even. She doesn’t have sleep apnea, we think.
Born in March of this year, our new baby took up some of our time so we waited, probably longer than we should have, to schedule a visit with an ENT. Finally, in early July, we visit. She absolutely should get her tonsils and adenoids out. It’s a package deal.
She’s a mouth breather, in fact, can’t even breathe through her nose. She will have physical structural changes to her face if they remain in. She is not getting enough oxygen, sleep or nutrition. They should come out, this will take care of everything.
That was pretty much the gist of it. The doctor was very honest about the
procedure surgery and said this was common, yet reiterated that she has certain guidelines that weren’t necessarily in place decades ago when they took them out of everyone who breathed air.
No way. We won’t let our little girl be put through something like that. She is perfect the way she is, the way God made her.
As you can see, I’m pretty worked up over this. We don’t take decisions like this lightly. We see professionals, research on our own, seek alternative care, and wait. This is a decision that in the end, we know will be what is best for our family. I don’t ask other people’s advice because they want differently for their family. It is their choice. But I do ask “what did you do?” or “what would you do if it was your kid?” and patiently listen to their answers. Yes, it is a sensitive topic. Yes, I am a proud parent. And yes, we have made a decision.
We have decided to go through with the surgery. t is scheduled to have a tonsil/adenoidectomy and we are a nervous wreck.
Guess we should have listened to the medical professionals on this one after all. This is when modern medicine is miraculous.
We literally made a list of reasons for and reasons against the surgery. In the long run, the benefits outweighed the risks. This is the hope of any major event in your life. When given two roads, definitely take the one where the benefits outweigh the risks. For sure.
Not to try to defend our decision, but we want to make it clear for others out there who may be faced with this same decision: our daughter’s case is truly one of a physical form. Her tonsils are structurally HUGE. They are not swollen, not infected. In fact, she has never (knock on wood) had strep throat nor tonsilitis. Her tonsils and adenoids are completely healthy. (See, the chiropractics and healthy lifestyle have paid off!) A naturopathic, alternative route would do no good. As I told my husband, it’s comparable to being born with a big nose. You can do everything imaginable to shrink it, but surgery is the only way to make it smaller. Of course, this is not a cosmetic issue. This has very little to do with the way she looks. This is actually affecting her life. Big time. Get these things out of her, now!
I have a hard time with the idea of messing with what we were given. Most of my parenting decisions are based on that theory. I have natural childbirths, we don’t pierce our children’s ears, etc…we are grateful for what God has given us and we never take that for granted.
That being said, we are content with our decision in this matter. We believe we are doing what is healthiest for her. She needs this procedure as it will never just “go away” or get better. If only we could be certain it will all go smoothly and be for the better. If only parents had a fast-forward button that could skip through the hard parts and a slow motion button to relish in the easy and fun ones!
I think there is a lesson to be learned through all of this. It is one that parents learn quite early in their mother/father -hood. Research all of your options and discover which is best for your family.
We would appreciate prayers for a successful surgery and a swift recovery. Thank you all for your support. It’s just a stinkin’ surgery to remove my daughters’ tonsils and adenoids…it happens all the time, right?!
You can look forward to a follow-up post when all is said and done. Good news is on the horizon!