Terrible Twosdays: Watch What You Say!
I’ve listened to other parents make the mistake. I’ve watched them fumble with their words as they drop something on the floor by mistake. “OH SHIT!”
Here’s the problem: your pint-sized sponge is watching. And listening. And soaking it all in.
Beware, new parents of toddlers. They will hear you, and they will learn how to speak that word more clearly than any other in their limited vocabulary. It probably will be uttered at the most inopportune time, probably in front of your most-feared crowd. And it will probably be used in the proper context.
I don’t have the best mouth. “Potty Mouth”, as my husband likes to call it, has been part of my vocabulary as long as I can remember. I’m learning to replace my foul adjectives with those that are more appropriate and child-friendly. It’s getting better.
We’ve replaced the inevitable “Oh Shit!” with “Oh Shoot!” and now, even “Oh Shux!”. Our daughter chose the “s” word as her first (and hopefully only for a while) swear word. She dropped a crayon on the floor & just said it. Clear as day. Absolutely correct circumstance. I just muttered “Oh, we don’t say that word”. She then followed up with “Ok. I just say ‘Oh Shoot!’.” My response: “Hmm, no, that’s not very nice either.” “Oh. Ok then. I just say ‘Shhhh’!” Can’t argue with that!
She is now the “Potty Mouth Police” for anyone who speaks profanely in her presence. No one can “Oh My God!” or “Damnit!” in front of her, no way! She will turn to them and ask, rather politely, “We don’t say that word. We say ‘Oh my!’ or ‘Oopsy Daisy’!” Hilarious.
I’m glad this is the worst it has been to date. Oh, I know it will get worse, I know…I just hope I remember the story to tell when her first date picks her up or at her graduation party. For now, it will look cute and read well in her baby book, alongside the other adorable toddler tales. Thanks for the memories, little t. I will be talking on eggshells for years to come…